To be honest, im to damn depressed to even write anything worth while. Im slightly feeling sorry for my self right now, and i've never had more of an urge to cut my self than i do right now, but im not going to so don't worry. I've stopped cutting, well im attempting to truly stop cutting and i hope to make it through out this month with out doing anything stupid like that, we shall see.
Im just feeling pathetic and alone right now, and truly worthless, so i just really don't have much to talk about, i know im not completely alone, i have a family that loves me, and a family that i love, but it just feels like it's NOT enough, and i get invovled with the wrong guys...i've never really discussed what happend with me and Jim, and to be honest i still can't talk about it with out geting overly upset and crying, so i won't talk about it now. I've officaly given up. Im 23 years old, and i've given up on love, that's how much hell i've been put through, and how many time's i've hurt and had to deal with so much pain, that i can't stand it anymore, and i give up..
Well im off to go lay in bed and finish the new book that i started. I finished the new anne rice book 2 days ago, Blackwood Farm, which i must say is a great book, and now i just started Twisted Root, the new V.C. Andrews book, after i get finished with that, i hope to get the new book by James Patterson, im really looking forward to it, but i have the last 3 new books by James Patterson, laying on my bedroom floor that i have not yet read, but hell i have over 500 books in this room that i have not yet read, instead of reading books that i OWN, i go to the libary and check them out, yeah im odd.. oh well
Goddess Bless everyone, hopefully tommorow im in a much better mood...
12:36 a.m. - 11.14.2002
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