I was looking at Cedar Point's website, For those of you who do not know what Cedar Point is, it's an amusement park that's right near my house, and it's been voted �Best Amusement Park in the World� for five consecutive years, and like people from all over the world come to this amusement park, me living near it, I don't see the big deal half of the time, since I go to it all the time, but when ever I go to another amusement park, I'm sadly disappointed because it can't even dream of being as good as Cedar Point. Anyway I got off track there for a second, I just think I plugged Cedar Point, Go There next Summer if you get the chance, it's well worth it! But anyway IM DEPRESSED!!! They are taking down the best damn ride in the world!!!Schwabinchen!! I loved that fucking ride! (yes I needed to use that word to make it be known how much I infact did love that ride). Schwabinchen, or better yet known as "The Bar Whore" or "Swa-Bitchin" was a cool ass ride, There was this big tittied chick on the top and you sit in these cars and it spins you around, it rocks! But they are taking it down to "improve" Cedar Point, in 2003!! *crys* I'll be so disappointed now when I go there in the summer because my Bar Whore will no longer be there!! But on other news, they are adding a new "thrill" coaster, and they will have the most roller coasters in the world when this is built, so they will have bragging rights once again, WHO gets excited about this? I mean honestly? Does the head of Cedar Point brag to the head of Six Flaggs, My coasters are bigger than yours, I have more coasters than you, bow to me because I am your Amusement Park GOD? woot, went a lil crazy there! But they are keeping this new ride like all hush hush, rumor is it's going to be 400 ft tall. NOW I wrote the ride that is over 300ft tall and I about die everytime, there is not enough weed in the world to get me on a ride that is 400 ft tall!! *whew* I'd die!!
Okay I'll stop talking about that!! My mom gave me her stomach flu, I woke up this mourning and I felt like I was dying, I still feel like im dying, but I can't sleep, so im sitting here at this computer, trying to find something to do! I think I might work on Vikki Designs. I know I said I was going to update last night after a while, but I got involved on working on blue-candy-b's diary and after I finished up, I was so cold and sleepy that I passed out!! So I know I'll write more later today!
I talked to Josh last night (a painful reminder of my past). I could get into the whole "me" and josh thing, but it would take to long, maybe later. I'll give you the short details. The first time me and Josh ever got together was Sept 11th 2001 (we had sex that night, around 2am, in the middle of no where, outside, it was great) anyway we had this on again off again thing, were basically it felt like when he needed me, and wanted to have sex with me, he'd get a hold of me. I started to have these massive feelings for him that confused me, and so I started to back away, whenever I backed away, he'd tell me he missed me, and blah blah blah, I believed him and had sex with him and so on! Than one day, he told me he was leaving for Texas the next day, and it was just like a slap to the face, but that night he wanted to meet and have sex, and I told him no, I at the time was fairly sure I was pregnant. Than one time he came back from Texas just for like a weekend, and wanted to know if we could see eachother, I was so pissed off that I said no 'i was on the rag' type of deal and never heard from him again until a few months down the road, and he come back telling me that he misses me, and he moved back to Ohio to see me, and blah blah blah, he loves me but was just scared to tell me, and all this other shit, than we got together, had sex (surprise) and than when he left me, I just broke down in tears, because of how stupid I WAS. So finally I started to realize that he was lying to me, I was sick of hurting everytime he kissed me and drove off, making me feel like trash and pretty much his personal whore. Than i never heard from him for like a month, than he come's back and tells me the same shit, that he misses me, and than he tells me he's sick, (w/ cancer) and that's why he was the way he was, because he didn't want to get close to me because he was scared since he was sick to get close to me, or have me get close to him, something along the lines of that. It hurt so much that he couldn't trust me enough to tell me that he was sick and understand!! So that's the basic run down, though I missed a lot of things. He tells me he loves me, but he got scared and all that. TO be honest I never really believed him, he knows that I never believed him ether. Anyway we talked last night and he told me he missed me, and despite how much he's hurt me in the past, I miss him too, than he told me that we "need to see eachother soon", because it's been so long and he missed me. Or in guy terms "your a great piece of ass, and I haven't came close to having as good of sex since I've had it with you" or maybe since it's Josh, "your excellent at giving head, and I haven't had anyone that come's close to you" (which is very much true, cause I am VERY good, beyond excellent at head..heh). If im fixing to just have sex with someone, I want it to be a lot less emotionless, I want it to be meaningless, with Josh it'll never bee emotionless, it'll never be meaningless. Maybe to him, but not to me. I've cried while having sex with him, He never knew but I cried because of how horrible it was making me feel, and how used I felt. I know that it's my own fault as well, If I didn't want to sleep with him, that I wouldn't have. But he made me believe he felt exactly what I felt, and it was all bull shit, he was just being a typical guy in my life, an asshole out to hurt me, how can I despise him so much sometimes, but after talking to him, he's made me want to see him again! I cannot allow my self to see him again!! Im better than that!! So someone talk some sense into me...(hint hint) MANDI!! lol she always points out things that I forget about the bas men in my life. Another ex tried to come back into my life the other day, Dennis (pimp daddy d to mandi) and she reminded me all the bad that came with Dennis, and she helped me realize how big of a mistake me and him back together would be!! that's why I <3 mandi to death! She my number 1 hoe!!
Well im off to work on some things, maybe make some designs, I don't know yet though, depends on if I feel like it or not..lol Plus I've got to make a Lita ring for Mandi!! So I've got to get around to doing that, but I feel so bad!! Thanks MOM for giving me the Stomach Flu, it shows that you love me so much!! evil women! I'll write more when I get the chance, Probably later tonight!!
Goddess Bless Everyone
1:13 p.m. - 12.10.2002
Recent entries:
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others: